MY DEEPEST SECRET
29 March 2013
I hate Keeping Secrets. I never like to keep anything to myself (obviously). So, normally, I don’t. I would eventually tell someone about it in some way. This secret was different.
It’s about a girl. Obviously, if my secret involves a girl, everyone can conclude that I like her. Though it’s not good to form conclusions based on assumptions, it’s okay on this occasion. I like her a lot. By a lot, I mean more than Othello loved Desdemona. Well, kind of like that (I’m not sure what love feels or is supposed to feel like). I would never tell her that, though.
For three months, I couldn’t stop thinking of her, Julie. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t. Julie is one secret I’ve been keeping since I’ve had moved to Sicklerville. I couldn’t like her, but My best friend did. And that’s wrong, right? How would you feel if your best friend was crushing on the same girl you liked? Wouldn’t you become furious? Wouldn’t you feel threatened? What if he or she asked him or her before you did?
I knew I couldn’t say a word. Zack was obsessed with her. I mean literally. And So was I. Not obsessed like having dozens of her most confidential pictures on our wall obsessed. That would be the characteristics of a lunatic. Obsessed, like, can’t stop thinking about her, obsessed. Everyone knew he liked her. For a while, Julie liked him too. Zack was just too scared to say anything. Literally. He claims he doesn’t like her anymore now that she’s dating someone (I don’t know his name and… don’t really care). I doubt it.
If I had the opportunity to ask her, even tell her, I would in a heartbeat. Maybe, hopefully. I don’t want to graduate without telling her. I really don’t. I would try my best not to show it at all. I pretended never to notice her when it was obvious that I could. Every day I would attempt to convince myself I didn’t like her. And every day, I would fail. My heart knew I loved her.
I don’t know why I can’t tell her the truth.
I hate keeping secrets.
